How often do you take time out to do something for you? Do you regularly choose family and household over you? Do you get exhausted by from working or worrying about how you can comfortably provide for your family? Do you get fatigued and lack motivation because all you do is give out? Is your tank empty? Do you sometimes feel as though you’ve got nothing left to give? As a parent or carer it’s easy to let your responsibilities bog you down to the point where you neglect yourself.

By consistently putting everyone and everything first can lead to exhaustion, lack of patience, lack of motivation, lack of energy, a sense of hopelessness and negativity, which are typical signs of burnout. Little things seem huge, arguments can start and escalate and you can become very withdrawn.

You would never intentionally neglect your family, however, when you constantly choose them over you, as illogical as it seems, they will suffer as a result! If your tank is empty, you’ve got nothing left to give to others, especially your family. Resentment can build as a result, and you may feel bitter towards the ones that you love. If you’re burned out, you’re no good to anybody, not only you suffer but so will your family because you are depriving them of the fun, energetic, loving person you could be.

When you choose to nurture yourself, the benefits are three fold. You increase your self-respect, you are teaching your family by example to have self-respect for themselves, and you are teaching them to take pride in you and respect you, because you take pride in yourself.

By taking care of you, you let your inner butterfly flourish, your whole persona changes, you feel more confident, positive, you take pride in yourself, recognise your achievements, and you feel more secure and trusting of yourself.

So how do you make a change when you’re so used to putting everybody else first? How can you take time out for yourself when you’re so busy and barely have time to have a shower? How can you nurture yourself when you’ve got the kids full time? How can you take for you when every time you’ve tried in the past something comes up?

What can you do? If you step outside of your situation and look at it objectively, what can you let go of so that you can fill your tank? Who can you ask for help? Is there something you can outsource? Do you have a group of friends in the same situation that you can band together and support each other?

Don’t let yourself get to burn out stage. When you feel tired and drained, discipline yourself to take time out and rest. Sleep, nourish yourself with good food, do something you enjoy.

Determine what you can do by taking baby steps. What is something very small you can do that will make a difference? Five minutes a day can be a very valuable investment. Consider a time when you can realistically take five minutes out. What do you enjoy doing? It could be a five minute walk when your partner gets home. Or, take five minutes after the kids have gone to bed to read. You could spend five minutes doing a hobby.

You will always come up against obstacles, when you are so used to being in the habit of doing one thing, it can be challenging to make a change. When you’re feeling ok write a list of things you can do to fill your tank. Then consider a back-up plan for the times when obstacles arise.

If in the past you’ve avoided nurturing yourself because you thought you couldn’t afford the time, I believe you can’t afford not to, for the sake of your well-being, and your family, choose differently, let go of some control and the strong grip it has on your life, take regular time out for you and let your inner butterfly flourish!