Young babies are usually comfortable with all the people in their lives who care for them ensuring they are warm, fed & loved.

At around the age of 7 months this changes, babies develop ‘object permanence’ the knowledge that things can disappear and reappear. Watch a baby drop a toy from the pram or highchair and then look to see where it went.

At this age they are becoming aware of the people in their lives, mum, dad, siblings, grandparents, care provider ( If they have been in childcare for a while).

While they are aware of people in their lives, babies as yet have no knowledge of time, so if a parent or another loved one moves to another room they are out of sight and effectively “gone”.

For some children this is devastating and cries will ensue until the parent returns.

What can families do to help their children through this stage? A stage of development is exactly what it is. However there is no defined answer as all babies are different, and separation anxiety can be different for each one. Each child in a family can experience it differently.

The important thing is to be reassuring, talk to you child as you leave the room and continue talking. Phrases like “ Mummy is going to the bathroom/ bedroom etc I am coming back, you’re fine, I wont be long”.  This repetition each time you have to move out of their vision will help them learn that you will return. Eventually your baby will cope with your movement around the house. A cuddle and reassurance each time you return will also help, eventually just your spoken reassurance on return will be sufficient. Phrases such as “Mummy’s back, you’re fine, lets get your favourite toy/ book etc as you put them back down to play will reinforce your message. Whatever words you or your partner use it is important to be consistent and use the same words each time.

Consistency is also important if you are leaving your baby with family, babysitters, and childcare. Both parents to have a set good bye routine, again the same phrases repeated each time you leave your baby.

“Mummy/Daddy is going to work/shopping etc, you will have a lovely day with Nana, care provider. We will be back to pick you up “.  Sometimes children are less upset for one parent. If it is possible for that parent to take the child to the care provider, it can be less stressful for all concerned.

Make the leave taking short, don’t spend long periods of time saying goodbye, this is more stressful for you and your baby. Give the person caring for your baby a favourite toy or cuddly as a distraction for your baby. Sometimes an item that smells like Mum/Dad or home will help. Once you have left, don’t return for another cuddle, this extends the separation time.

 It is upsetting leaving a crying baby. Confidence in you care provider is your reassurance. Phone when you get to work or your appointment, this will reassure you that your baby has settled and is content.

Babies will often cry when their parents return to collect them. This doesn’t mean that they have been upset and crying all day. They are pleased to see you return and this is a natural reaction. Remember meeting a family member at the airport there are always a few tears. A cuddle and a chat about what they have done during the time you have been away will soon see the tears dry up.

If you are collecting your child from formal child care and have to sign attendance records and collect bottles and bags, try and do this before you pick you baby up, as they will be reluctant for you to put them down again while you deal with the admin stuff.

Remember it is a stage, if you are reassuring and confident your child will soon be at they next stage.

Every child is different, and separation can be more stressful for some than others.

Time helps them settle into to new routines and be comfortable with new people.